World record rejection time for a novel

I located the name of an agent in a national newsletter interview. She seemed like a good fit, so I tracked down the agency details on the internet and found that she accepts email queries. Early in the day, I converted my query letter to an email format and off it went.

About two hours later the agent replied to my email query and requested 20 pages of the novel manuscript. An hour later I winged the excerpt through the ether to her marveling at the rapid response.

Several hours later, I had another reply from this agent. Rather than the usual: doesn’t fit my criteria or my plate’s too full at present — she added positive critique comments. It was a turn-down to be sure, but I truly appreciated the fact that she took the time to pass along meaningful remarks I can incorporate into my writing.

World Record? Maybe, maybe not, but the entire exchange took a few minutes under twelve hours. I’ve waited six months and not received an answer from harried and less courteous agents, so I’ll accept the positive aspects. The rejection was swift, but the results were positive. I don’t have to sit around waiting and I have valuable input to utilize.

Thanks to this considerate agent and I’ll wish for the next block-buster novel to come her way.

Bee Jay Sez

Um’s and Er’s

While listening to NPR (National Public Radio) I was overwhelmed with the words of the person being interviewed as he defended the current trend in speaking which includes all manner of “place holders.” I’ve long stressed to writers: if you want to be a writer, you also need to become a speaker — because speaking is part of the marketing process. At the same time, you don’t want to sound like an illiterate.

This NPR guru has a theory that all the “er’s,” “um’s” and “ya know’s” belong in our speech patterns to allow the listener to recognize that “more is coming.” Yeah, right! If the listener cannot figure out there is more coming on their own, I hold that the speaker doesn’t have much worth listening to.

Example: Another NPR — and I really do like NPR — interviewee held sway. He is a movie actor and a stand-up comedian, but he left those fields far behind. I was appalled with the number of “ya know’s” he tossed out. When I quit listening to whatever it was he was trying to say, he was clipping along at 10 YPM (“Ya know’s” Per Minute) — that’s one every six seconds folks. If the speaker is tossing in one of these place-holders that often, he’s going to lose me … and he did.

Positive example: this NPR interviewee is an Emmy winner, an Oscar winner and has a Nobel Peace Prize. I listened to former Vice President Al Gore for twenty minutes or more without a single “ya know” and I got his full message.

Back to our first individual — the intellectual minimalist, the legend in his own mind — I don’t believe a word he says. He seems to be excusing others of his ilk who are unable to carry on an intelligent conversation without inane fillers.

Bee Jay Sez

Developing Characters

Several weeks ago I attended an hour seminar on characterization presented by Robin Miller. Robin writes as Robin Caroll and you can find details about her on the web at: robincaroll.com

She is the president of ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers) and just signed a three-book contract. As you might guess by the office she holds, we are a world apart on background and writing genre.

Robin uses a different approach than I do when it comes to fleshing out characters, but her method is outstanding. I learned long ago, that there is little difference in genre when it comes to creating characters. No writer will last long with flat, two dimensional people in the prose. Take advantage of every opportunity to learn and pick the brains of the best.

Bee Jay Sez

Conference Conferees

Everyone in the audience wants to meet the speaker when they finish the presentation. The applause dies — the rush begins. Elbows flailing, the strongest predators lead the charge. No problem, I think; plenty of time and I’m only tenth in line. Alas, the head of this line is the conference pest. He monopolizes the speaker’s time. Shifting from foot-to-foot, grumbling and erupting in my most stage-like throat clearing accomplishes nothing. The oblivious lout is unaware of the line behind him. This one person still has the speaker button-holed when a conference host pries the poor presenter loose from the clutches of the pest.

Next on the schedule are several round-table discussions where each facilitator works with a small group of would-be writers. This female conferee pest never heard the word succinct. Getting the facilitator’s attention, she launches into a long, rambling soliloquy turning an insignificant event into a novella. Stopping to inhale, she no longer remembers what she wanted to ask. During the lull for that inhalation, a second time-waster leaps into the breach. He relates a small slice of life story in minute and excruciating detail, in an attempt to maintain center stage. With side trips to tedium, he turns trivia into an epic saga.

The time allotted for this session has also expired. The facilitator and the other participants have a thousand-yard stare on their faces while considering whether it is worth attending any more of this conference.

The next pest corners the conference Director with a question: “Why didn’t you have a speaker representing the (pick any genre to fill the blank)?” The Director tells this guy about national organizations and conferences specializing in his particular area of writing interest. When it dawns on the persistent pest a modicum of cash would be needed to attend and join, the ardor wanes and he beats a hasty retreat.

I would be remiss if I ignored the pest who becomes a presenter. The one who prefers his voice to that of others — who prefers his own work to that of others. He has no regard for structure and schedules and “a minute” becomes a half-hour devoted to himself.

We don’t need time and space hogs wasting our time. My time is far too valuable to squander — and so is yours. Ignore and avoid these inconsiderate oafs.

A final word to the self-centered, inconsiderate pest; next time stay home.

Bee Jay

The first week of June has come and gone again. Yesterday, the 6^th of June passed with barely a mention of this date made famous in WW II. Take a moment out of your busy day to remember those brave souls who stormed the beaches of Fortress Europe that day more than half a century ago.

The Pen Women in Little Rock, AR again put on an outstanding meeting (Arkansas Writers’ Conference). I got an Honorable Mention, which I considered a positive considering there were 86 entries in that category. The recognition was for a short story called “Saying Goodbye” and I’ll get it up on my web site shortly. Also, that story will appear in a anthology published in the fall by the Missouri State Poetry Society. They publish the book of poems and short stories every year.

Next week begins a week long writers’ retreat at the Hemingway-Pfeiffer Learning Center. This is the fourth year I’ve been able to attend this gathering in Piggott, Arkansas. This year my goal is to finish my second mystery novel and begin the first rewrite. I have about eight pounds of notes from my critique group to get through.

Bee Jay

Another letter to the editor published in “The Writer” magazine. It’s worth saying again, so here it is.

I believe the February Dear Writer column, which discusses the reliability of information on the Internet, leaves a faulty impression in readers’ minds.

I disagree that organization (.org) sites, among others, are always “trustworthy sources.” These domains are available to anyone with $10 to spend.

The column also implies that education (.edu) sites do not promote “a bias or a cause.” Consider these examples: Liberty University and Oral Roberts University are both .edu domains, but I doubt Jerry Falwell and Oral Roberts (both chancellors of the respective schools) can be counted on to provide unbiased opinions.

My point is this: Beware of everything on the Web. Everyone has an agenda or goal (good or bad) to promote. Use common sense when reading anything out there in cyberspace.

Bee Jay

What is a mystery?

Many readers and writers as well, confuse genres. I’ve seen a reference to a mystery/thriller. I’m not sure how to untangle that one.

A suspense novel starts with a situation and moves to the climax where the “main event” happens or doesn’t happen. A thriller is the same format as a suspense with more in the way of fast-paced action. The struggle is between the good-gal doing her best to stop the bad-guy from accomplishing the main event, explosion, war, etc.

A mystery flips the sequence. The “main event,” most times a murder, occurs up front. The rest of the time is spent as the good-guy works to uncover the identity of the bad-gal. Here, the climax is the unmasking of the culprit. Hercule Poirot (Agatha Christie) loved the “drawing-room” scene. He eliminates the suspects one-by-one until the bad-guy confesses and bolts for freedom. Avoid these kinds of info dumps.

There are a ton of sub-genres within the mystery category: cozy, hard boiled, medium boiled, amateur sleuth, police procedural, to name a few.

If you plan to write mysteries or any genre, do some research so you sound like you know what you’re doing. One of the best descriptions of fiction genres I’ve run across is at — www.pcbios.com — a web site by Linda Rohrbough. Look for “The Genre Hurdle – Table 1” link on her “Business of Writing” page.

Bee Jay